"Men are not women, even if you squint" said the t-shirt which got a woman trespassed from a NZ supermarket.

“Men are not women, even if you squint” said the t-shirt worn by an older Māori woman in the New World supermarket in Ōtaki, New Zealand.

The t-shirt appeared to agitate a trans-identifying male (TIM) staff member, who elevated what should have been a simple sales transaction into a fracas. He imbued his displeasure with enough vocal stridency to ensure it brought the male duty manager running to see what was upsetting him. Upon seeing that TIM had hurt feelings, the duty manager promptly manhandled the older woman out the door. I expect Phillippa’s ejection was TIM’s desired result. After all, why go to effort of making a fuss, unless you know it will generate a reaction?

To be fair, I have no problem with managers looking after their staff, but was this manager protecting TIM, or pandering to him? Here’s the story, seen and approved prior to publishing by Phillippa, the woman at the centre of this debacle –

Phillippa is an older Māori woman, with a heart condition, and on 30^th December 2023 at about 4.30pm was in the New World supermarket in the small town of Ōtaki, which is roughly an hour’s drive north of Wellington. She was wearing a t-shirt with a slogan on it which said “Men are not women, even if you squint”. There was nothing unusual in that, as she often wears ‘terfy’¹ t-shirts as a matter of course, so frequently had one on when in that store purely as happenstance.

Phillippa went to the Lotto counter, which was staffed by a trans-identifying male, to buy a ticket. He was surly with her, took umbrage at her t-shirt, and escalated that into loud antagonism towards her. It drew the attention of the duty manager, who took no time at all to decide that it was Phillippa, and not TIM, who was being offensive, and pushed her towards the door with his hands on her back. Some other staff then followed her to her car, where she overheard them saying that they’d get her licence plate number so they could find out who she was. However, Phillippa wasn’t using her own car that day, so any further harassment could be directed to a different person altogether.

She subsequently sent a carefully worded confidential email to the manager of the store to explain what had happened from her perspective, to counter the accusations made against her at the time of the incident, and to request that she not be banned from the store. The manager’s ‘PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL’ reply somehow made it into trans activists’ online groups. It remains unknown how that happened, but Phillippa and those supporting her vehemently refute that the leak came from them. If it had, it’s doubtful they would have left her name on it, whilst blacking out other names.

Phillippa also refutes the manager’s accusation about repeated inappropriate behaviour. I’ve gotten to know her and her family somewhat over the last couple of years, and they’ve always been frank about who they are and their beliefs. Whilst they themselves will freely admit they’re no angels, I have never found them to be liars. The temerity of being an obstreperous older woman is not easily forgiven in our world, especially from those who oppose gender ideology, and I suspect that is one of Phillippa’s core ‘offences’.

The manager, Mr Mullins, who is also the franchisee of the New World supermarket in Ōtaki, went further and made a statement on their Facebook page for public viewing, reiterating that Phillippa had been very bad, and he’d only been protecting his staff.

The newspaper, The Post, also printed a small piece parroting the claims of the store manager that Phillippa had made repetitive offensive comments, made the staff feel unsafe, and denied that she was physically removed from the store. She has since requested the CCTV footage of the incident, but to date hasn’t received it.

Political journalist and advocate for women’s rights, justice, and democracy, Ani O’Brien, was curious to discover Phillippa’s side of the story. Knowing that she was unlikely to have the same public platform or reach as those spreading a version of the incident not aligned with hers, Ani offered to write Phillippa’s story in her own words on her (Ani’s) X account. This is that story, copied with permission from Ani’s X account -

A couple of witnesses to at least part of the incident have come forward, and one of them has said this to Ani –

So, that’s Phillippa’s story - choose who you believe. I know who I believe, and it’s not those two blokes who I’d wager good money haven’t batted an eye at any other t-shirt with a slogan on it worn in the store. The manager denies it’s about the t-shirt, naturally, but none of this would have kicked off without the t-shirt.

Speaking of t-shirts, the “Men are not women, even if you squint” t-shirt, as pictured at the top, will be available from Mana Wāhine Kōrero’s store on Print Mighty soon.

I expect that TIM and his store manager buddy now think this is over - but it’s possible they just might be congratulating themselves too soon. Stay tuned :-)

¹ A ‘terf’ is an originally an acronym for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. However, it has morphed into basically describing anyone who doesn’t believe that people can change their sex – e.g. men who say they’re women are not actually women, and they should not have free and unfettered access to women’s and girls’ spaces and sports. Neither do terfs believe that children should be given cross-sex hormones or gender reassignment surgery. It can be used as a slur, but women (and some men) also own it as a way to defuse the slur, and as a quick and handy description for themselves.