How two vegan men peaked me into being a committed women’s rights ‘bigot’.

“You’re a bigot, and to think I used to respect you.”

So said my co-vegan male buddy when he jumped in on a Facebook thread about three years ago, where I was defending women’s spaces from being used by any man who says he’s a woman. Half an hour later, the friendship was finished.

I used to respect this guy, too, as he had done some good activism for animal rights and welfare here in New Zealand. We shared values, had meals and drinks together in groups with others, he’d visited my home, and I liked him as a person.

If I had been defending women against anything else at all, I’m picking that he would have been on board with me. But the minute I defended women’s spaces against men who say they’re women, he was down on me like a ton of bricks. What’s with that? It was bloody weird then, and is still weird now. At the time, he wasn’t alone in his vegan condemnation of me, and still isn’t. Another co-vegan male buddy had been having a go at me for the same thing prior to the afore-mentioned male buddy joining in. Emboldened with solidarity, and in brotherhood with men who say they’re women, they thoroughly castigated me for my bigotry.

Perturbed by this behaviour from those who I thought were friends, or at least friendly acquaintances, I did what women do – I rang my sister afterwards to talk about it. I told her that if they did shite like this again, I would unfriend them. She gave me some good advice: “Do it now”.

I did. And, surprisingly, it didn’t hurt in the least, which told me something about the true nature of the relationship I had with each of those so-called buddies.

Before this exchange, I had found myself inexplicably getting drawn back into feminism. I couldn’t put a finger on why I, by now an older woman, was gradually seeking out current information about it. I can only conclude that I was subconsciously becoming aware of a disturbance around women’s rights which drove my search. Eventually, I landed on the public Facebook page for Speak Up for Women NZ where there was a discussion going on about men who say they’re women competing in women’s sports. I naively made a comment about it being okay seeing as they’d lowered their testosterone, which I’d thought made them like women - didn’t it? One of the admins came back and asked why this was okay, when women had fought tooth and nail for all the gains they’d made. That’s all she said, but it made me think big time. Although I wasn’t highly active in the second wave of feminism, I remembered how I’d still put feet on the street for those gains, and how long and hard women had campaigned for all we now had.

So, I re-educated myself.

That set me on the gender-critical path, and eventually onto the Facebook exchange with my now ex co-vegan male buddies. They’re not the only vegans who have condemned me to hell for the heresy of not believing that men can become women. But you know what? I don’t care. To my great joy, I have also discovered my inner battleaxe, which, for someone who was a tad timid once, is a taonga - Māori word for ‘treasure’ - to be embraced and not underestimated.

I thank those vilifying vegans – which don’t comprise all vegans, by any means – who helped set me on a journey where I found something strong in me which may have otherwise remained dormant. It opened up me and my world, and I meet some damned fine women I may never have otherwise met. I briefly became a co-spokeswoman for Speak Up for Women NZ, before stepping down to be an independent commenter, activist, provocateur, and writer for preventing the erosion of women’s rights and language. I still retain a close association with some women in that group, and will be appearing on Terf Talk Down Under on Friday 2^nd Feb with Lee who masterminded the Terf Club¹ business cards.

So, you couldn’t quieten this ‘bigot’, boys, with your uber-woke bollocks - and there’s plenty more like me. As the tee-shirt says, this witch doesn’t burn.

This Witch Doesn’t Burn – Feminist T-Shirt – WILD WOMYN WORKSHOP

¹TERF Club! - by Katrina Biggs - A B’Old Woman (substack.com)